Explaining Soccer

Of Soccer and Pierced Ears

My daughter wanted to get her ears pierced for her birthday this summer. I left the yes/no decision to my wife, who decided it would be OK. I did have input on the process, however, as I insisted they go get her ears pierced at least six weeks before the first tournament this season, which will be in mid-August.

Why? You can't take out the starter set of earrings for at least six weeks or the holes will close up, I'm told. At the same time, referees won't let players play with earrings in. I've seen on more than one ocassion players--and moms--break out in tears when given the order by refs to remove the earrings from freshly pierced ears.

I know this is a weird one, but here's the tip: If your player wants her (or his, I guess) ears pierced, do it right after the spring season ends. That way you avoid any unpleasantness on the pitch.

The Best Soccer Announcer

Ah, back from a grueling vacation....

The question is: Who is the best soccer announcer? Being a recent convert to soccer, I can't claim to have the historical perspective to answer that question with any authority. However, I can say definitively that Ray Hudson is the most entertaining soccer announcer out there today.

He does games for GOL TV, which unfortunately has been off my DISH Network for about the last year. Oh, how I miss Ray's calls. Here's a clean YouTube compilation of some calls, and really it doesn't even scratch the surface:

There's even a blog about his genius: Hudsonia-The Wisdom of Ray Hudson. Alas, the blog hasn't been updated since DISH and GOL had their spat. But it's still a fun read.

So, what do you think? Who's the best soccer announcer ever?

Earmuffs!!

Hey all, as most of you probably know YouTube is an awesome resource for finding great soccer clips. You can find training advice, drills and, most fun of all, unbelievable clips of amazing moves by the best players in the world. 

Watching the game is an essential part of learning the game, but most younger kids don't have the patience to stick out a whole game. So, YouTube clips are a great way to get them to watch. Just the right length to keep their attention.

However...a bit of advice learned the hard way: Keep the sound down when watching the clips. I'm appreciative of all the people who take the time to produce those really slick videos, but they often pick music that, well, isn't appropriate for young kids to hear. 

I am not complaining one bit; I'm long-time First Amendment guy. They do the hard work and can express themselves anyway they want. I can easily turn the volume down. All you need is the video, anyway. Just an observation... 

I can squeeze you in at 4 p.m. ...

When I was a kid in the Midwest no one played soccer. Baseball, football, basketball, sure. But about the only time I saw a soccer ball was once a year on International Day in gym class. We played the "American" sports constantly, however. After school, after dinner, all day during the weekends and summer. Just a bunch of kids heading to a field. That's how we got good at the sports and learned to love them.

That doesn't happen nowadays, at least not where I live. Kids just don't simply head to the park with a ball and a bunch of friends anymore. There are many reasons for this and they will no doubt be the subject of another blog entry. But as a parent I have to say most are valid. 

Everything is scheduled these days, even soccer and it is one of the easiest sports to just go out and play. Luckily, in my area some clubs are recognizing this and scheduling summer "play" time. Kids just go (or more accurately, parents just drive them), the coaches split up teams, get out of the way and the kids just play. It ain't the way it was in the old days, but it's getting the kids lots of no-pressure touches on the ball, and that's a good thing.

How are things done where you live?

The case for relegation

Hey, surprise, I found another thing that drives me crazy: When professional teams in the U.S. start losing toward the end of the season in order to improve their draft position. As you may know, the worst team in most professional U.S. leagues, doesn't matter which sport, gets the first draft pick and that gives them exclusive access to the best available player. It's especially true in the NBA. In April and May, you're sure to find players who previously rode the pine all season suddenly in the starting lineup. The teams won't admit it, but they are trying to lose. They'll be rewarded for doing so. Teams win by losing. There's something wrong with that equation, don't you think?

That's not the case in soccer, at least everywhere but the MLS. In soccer around the world, and even in most U.S. youth travel leagues, the teams that finish at the bottom suffer what is called relegation.

In relegation, the bottom teams (usually the bottom three) are sent down to play in the next lower-level league. The flip side to this is promotion, where the top three teams from the lower league are promoted to play in the higher league. 

In leagues with relegation, late-season games between teams in the "drop zone" are intense battles to remain in the higher league, not snooze-fests to see who can lose more games. Once a team is relegated, there's no guarantee they'll ever get back up. They lose millions in TV rights money and, as a result, often have to sell off their best and highest-paid players, most of whom don't want to play on a team in a lower tier anyway. Conversely, teams that are promoted become flush with TV money and can dramatically improve their squads by acquiring new players and staffs.

Imagine if U.S. teams faced relegation. We'd have a whole different look to the end of the season. I know it will never, ever happen, in the major sports. 

But how about in soccer? The MLS could do it. There's a vibrant second-tier league in the USL. And the MLS could easily make the necessary change to a single-division table. It would generate huge interest across the country, as many relegation/promotion battles are more intense and interesting than what's happening at the top of the league. The MLS will never do it, either, I know, but I can hope... 

Got volunteered--again!

I just spent an hour sorting through uniforms, warmups and backpack for one of my daughter's teams. I was apparently vounteered to be the team admin. That's OK. I complain, but actually I love it.

What's wrong with youth soccer? Parents. Part I of many...

Here's the first in what I'm guessing will be a nearly endless stream of observations about the things that is most wrong with youth soccer: Parents.

Today's reason why parents are what's wrong with youth soccer is that most don't know when to cheer and when not to cheer because they don't know the game. Big deal, you say, but in actuality this is a serious issue. If a child hears the sideline go crazy with applause and encouragement when they do something that's actually wrong, then those kids are likely to repeat the mistake.

Case in point: A defender gets the ball and boots it as far as he or she can down the field. OK, there may be times when this is the right thing to do. But usually the better thing is to settle the ball, control it and pass it to maintain possession. 

I am so sick and tired of parents yelling "Way to go!!!" any time a player kicks the ball way downfield when the result is just to give the ball back to the other team. Long kicks don't necessarily equal good things. Same thing with goalie punts. 

Also, I've seen parents scream to good players when they get the ball at midfield to "Take it all the way!" Well, maybe the better thing would be to run the proper offense. It's hard, though, for kids to ignore the pleas of adults on the sidelines.

So, my advice is this: Not everything that looks right is right, and if you don't know the game please be careful not to reinforce negative behavior. You wouldn't cheer for your child if she wrote in crayon all over the wall, would you? I too often see parents cheering for the soccer equivalent...

In soccer, what is a transfer and how does it work?

In professional soccer, players are very rarely traded like they are in American sports such as baseball. They're just flat out bought and sold in a process called a transfer. So how does it work?

There are essentially three transactions that must occur to complete a transfer:

1. The two clubs must agree on a transfer fee. This is money the team acquiring the player must pay to the team letting him go. The sums can be staggering. Real Madrid, for instance, agreed to pay Manchester United $131.6 million for Cristiano Ronaldo, widely considered to be among the top three players on the planet. That's an extreme example, but transfer fees for even workman-like players can be in the millions.

2. The club acquiring the player must agree to a contract with the player. It's not like in baseball when acquiring teams simply take over the player's contract. In a soccer transfer, players are able to negotiate new contracts. In Ronaldo's case, he will be paid about $18 million a year on a six-year contract. Again, that's an extreme case.  

3. In some cases there is a third transaction that must be negotiated: A deal between the player and the club he is leaving for a portion of the transfer fee. Yes, that's right. Sometimes a player wants to get his hands on a portion of the transfer fee between the clubs. Samuel Eto'o, a Barcelona player rumored to be heading to Manchester City, reportedly wants half of the transfer fee Barcelona would get from Man City. This type of deal doesn't occur in many transfers.

Players are also sometimes loaned to other teams. This is especially common for younger players who can't crack into the starting lineups on strong squads. The hope is the player will get playing time on the borrowing club when he couldn't at the lending club. (American Jozy Altidore was loaned from his top division Spanish league team to a lower division team and still couldn't crack the starting 11 at the lower club, which is no surprise after seeing him play in the recent Confederations Cup!).  A team might loan a player to another team in it's own league, in a lower division or even to a team in a different country.